Promise..

well.. raining day..should be a good timing for me to sleep more since i got the appointment only at 3pm.
Unfortunately..have to wake up in the early morning around 7.45am (even i am not willing to do so)because already promised someone to go for breakfast..

PROMISE..
what does promise mean??? (from Oxford)

1st => (verb)Promise sth (to sb)
to tell sb that you will definately do or not do sth, or that sth will
definately happen
2nd => a statement that tells sb that you will definately do or not do sth

So is there anyone in the world fully understand the meaning of PROMISE and really comply it? hmmm hmmm... I don't think so.. How about you?? Are you the one who always break the promise? Don't you know that a PROMISE is actually show the respect to yourself and another one?? Don't you know that sometime a simple PROMISE will be exerted a strong influence on someone??
So my dearest peers.. Please .. Try your very best not to break a PROMISE to someone you care or care of you..
Sorry that i am very particular in this. I am always trying my best to fulfil the promises to anyone in my life.. Especially the one in my heart -- you.. you know that i'll be always here for you right? Atleast this is what i can promise you.. okay ???

你，仿佛有点遥不可及。。。。但，我还是想放肆的坚持对你的感觉。。 。
哪怕不能长相厮守，但愿我就曾经有那么的一段时间---认真地爱过你。。。

Pull myself out from you but drowned into YOU

Well.. Confusing situation ..

Try to get rid of you.. Finally I DID it.. very well..
One harsh word sent me into the depths of despair..
A despairing cry after the harsh word..
No hard feeling but just an act of sheer desperation..
Don't worry.. I am fine.. Always.. =)
No more expectation from you..
No longer moody because of you..

To YOU,
Heartbreak when I got a clear statement from you which Asking me not to spend / waste time on it..
I want to do so!!
I do it willingly!!
For YOU, It could be a feeling of doubt and uncertainty..
I had no reason to doubt YOU upon the doubt from YOU to ME.
I accepted it..
Just believe that Definite answer will be disclosed one day..
Not going to worry about it..

Feeling good now..and i believe the good feeling will be last continually untill the day.. The day we Meet..


Mandy

AGAIN.............

I'm lost.. AGAIN.. These two days.. Try my best not to think of you after broke up.. Doing well in first two to three weeks... Till the past saturday.. Keep on thinking of you.. You are figuring in my head!! Made me lost.. Couldnt work again.. Affected by you again.. Mood going down again.. Why?? Why am i like this?? Why?? Could you tell me why?? ........ Tell me please.. Am i going to fall for you again??? Am i going to carry relationship with you again?? Am i going to GET HURT AGAIN??
Sighs...........................

............

Finally,

You gave up.
You made a choice indeed although you didn't state clearly.
You left.

I realised.
I understood.
I let go.

I was just a fool along the way. Just realised when you already decided to love a person fully you'll get hurt.

* We make them cry who care for us.
* We care for those who never care for us.
* And we care for those who will never cry for us.


By,
person who get hurt deeply

LOVE....( YOU are the one I LOVE )

To the one I LOVE,

What's LOVE??
LOVE is amazing.
LOVE is suffering.
LOVE is sweet.
LOVE is bitter.
LOVE can change a person's personality.
LOVE can bring happiness.
LOVE need communication.
LOVE need forgiveness.
LOVE need understanding.
LOVE need ME and YOU.

No matter how far is our distance,
No matter how others disagree with us,
No matter how we suffer,

I will still LOVE YOU truly from my heart.
It's true! Please never ever doubt on ME.
Please OPEN your HEART and let me FLY toward you.
DON'T BE AFRAID. STRESS FREE..I AM ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU.

PLEASE give me a chance to LOVE you.
I will TRY MY BEST to work out the relationship with you. WILL YOU do the same too???


I LOVE YOU
I NEED YOU
I MISS YOU


By,
Mandy

Finany I was unable to suppress my depression..

Still managed to calm myself while in the meeting just now. Online after came back to home. Viewed facebook and saw that again. DAMN SHIT feeling.. It's HURT you know??

Finally, TEARS keep rolling dowm my face.. HEART really painful.. Do you know that?? You HURT me silently but deeply.. I was accepting silently but painfully all along.. I really don't hope to annoy you actually but I just don't know whether I should or shouldnt voice out. I just don't hope to be like your ex who keep on annoying and suspecting you.. I DIDN'T.. seriously.. I TRUST YOU all along the way. BUT do you know that your behavior will hurt me sometimes? Did you think of my feeling while doing all these??
I was deeply HURT because of I was busy doing this and that here to make sure our bright future but you're there to do something regardless about my feeling.. Can't you be just understanding?? Can't you think of whether will you hurt me if do this??

Sometimes I will think of "NEVER MIND".. just forget about it and left unsaid.. BUT will this way work? Will you appreciate with what I have done with keeping silent and let you have FREEDOM? I am not going to control you but just atleast think of me before anything happen. Ok?? What I expect is just that simple. Anyway, take care.

By,
Mandy

I felt very depressed..

Just back from work. Had been standing for 5 hours to promote the credit cards. I was really depressed the whole day but I still had to treat the customers nicely. Smiled gently to them although got rejected. BUT my heart was bleeding indeed. Try not to think of the issue while working but it's just beyond my control.. Keep figuring in my mind.. My eyes filled with tears while this happened but I still had to control myself and make sure that the tear won't roll down my face.

HURT!!... SPEECHLESS!!!.... SILENT!!!!........

Being silent is a bad attitude? Being "don't mind" is suffering? Why don't you be understanding with my SILENCE? Why I keep on maintaining a proper distance with others BUT you don't?? Am I complaining right now?? Are you beginning to get annoyed with what I feel??

Haiz.. Just forget about it. Maybe I just don't have the right to control or disturb YOUR PERSONAL LIFE.

I THINK IT CAN ONLY TAKE SOME TIME FOR THE WOUNDS TO HEAL. That's it !!!

By,
Mandy

21st March 2009

Has been stopped for 2 months to blog here. Damn busy and really didn't have mood to blog too.. I think most of the people(all around the world)also don't have mood in this recent because of recession. A lot of people are facing retrenchment nowadays. ME?? Hmmm.. Not consider jobless but just having a low income right now.

FEAR!! Afraid of cant cover the monthly expenses. + I am now really under pressure.. From my parents. They keep on mentioning about MONEY in front of me.. DAMN SHIT.. I hate it. But what to do?? They are still my parents indeed. There is just a thing figuring in my head right now-- earn money as soon as possible and also as much as possible then purchase a new house and move out. Atleast I can still breathe after come back from work.

In another hand, I am now still have to take care of someone. Haiz.. Don't know what to say la.. Just having a bad mood now.. hu~~~~ speechless........................

love,
Mandy Tan

Forget about the "PAST".. Welcome the "PRESENT"..

23.01.09

I got in the first accident since the day I start to drive. Knocked down a motorcyclist. Wasted lots of time to settle the case. Brought him to clinic for injection. Asked mechanic to repair his motor. Sent him back to home while my friend was riding his motor at my back. Spent almost RM300 to settle with him. Finally close case or else I will be in trouble for sometime.

24.01.09

(swee chin)Thanks for assisting me to send him for massage. Sorry to wake you up so early..
(wooi leong)Received Paul's call in the afternoon. Had been told by him that leong involved in an accident as well. Gosh.. Luckily that was a small case. No one get injure.

~ DEAR ~
Went to Prangin to meet her. Asked her a question. But She seemed answer thoughtlessly. Then I doubt on her Indeed I was damn nervous. Finally I got the answer which I expected. wawawawa.... So happy.. Can be describe as EXCITED..
Went to Penang Hill (haven't been there for ages). View was nice. Mood was good. Everything was fine. I do hope I can start my life in a strong spirit in this new year. With your support,I believe I can be succeed in one day. Let's us forget about the past, the unhappiness and work hard together. Love you endlessly..

with love,
Ling Ling

My 2009 GOAL

Just went back from Gopeng, Perak. I went there with my agency - TEAMWORK AGENCY.. It could consider as a 2 day 1 night life camp for us to do annual planning for 2009.

First of all, I would like to introduce to you all that we were staying at My Gopeng Resort. It's really a natural place.. No pollution at all.. The owner built a few ATAP HOUSES in this JUNGLE just to let you stay. You'll feel cold most of the times especially when the wind was blowing.

All of us made our 2009 GOAL perfectly under such good condition. My goal is to hit 160k personal sales because I hope to entitle for tier 1 trip which is going to Madrid,SPAIN. This is the country which I always hope to go. So I have to really work out this year already. Anyway, I'll try my best to achieve it. I do hope all of our GOAL can achieve in this year.

Actually there is another GOAL in my heart. Consider a long term goal. That's hoping "YOU" to come back to me.. Really..

With Love,
Ling Ling

09/12/08 心隐隐作痛。。

今天当你对我说了一句“对不起”，我就知道我应该放开手了！但是我也很想对你说一句“对不起”！！
对不起我造成你很大的压力。。请原谅我的一时之“错”！愿你开心。。。

重来

曾经的你是我全部
在朋友面前常爱提起的名字
最喜欢你笑的样子
彷佛一个单纯快乐的孩子
如今一切历历在目
你已成为我伤心的往事
那段有你有梦的日子
我真的很想可以再开始

虽然过去都已飘逝
我仍期待重来一次
好好将所有感觉从头收拾
再回到我和你的昨日

我真的很想让我和你
回到过去重新再来再爱一次
我会在乎我们的故事
改写我们的历史
为你轻轻擦去眼角的泪珠
真的很想让我和你
回到过去重新再来再爱一次
我会珍惜我们的最初
不想看你为我哭
让你陪孤独说不尽心事

with love,
ling ling (09/12/08)

Finally..

Finally.. I realised who I am exactly!! .........
Someone may feel shocked especially THE ONE..
But THE ONE just couldn't accept who I am...
Just kicked me away immediately...
The word-- RIDICULOUS -- really HURT me so much.. SO MUCH..
Do I need to EVADE?? Or face the FACT??!!
I don't know..!! Who can tell me?? .. What and how should I do now ??

~~~~SADNESS~~~~

Ling

请给我一封信

夜很冷，在这清冷的夜晚，遥远地方的你是否安然无恙，是否能感觉到我对你不断的思念，分开的日子，你可好吗？

我好想收到来自你那边的一封信，哪怕只是片言只语，让我知道你很好，知道你在发信的时候正在想我。这样，我就是世界上最幸福的人了！

请给我一封信，请在信的字头呼唤我的名字，用你最温柔的声音，那不是一般意义上的称呼，那是你频频呼唤着的名字。

“我想你”这三个字是世界上最简单而最幸福的字了，我没有渴求过别的字眼，唯有从你嘴里说出这三个字的时候，我知道已经足够了。

我总是把电话放在最靠近我的地方，唯恐漏掉任何一则你的信息，我期盼有来自你的问候，好想听到你的声音，醇厚的磁音像一杯烈酒，迷醉我思念的心，散在空气里，经久不退。

请给我一个证据，告诉我你来过，存在过，并且爱过，就像云冈石窟的大佛，见证着沧桑的存在。

请给我一个悬念，让我每天用期盼的心等待下一个期盼的到来，当我翻看这样的信，心似乎隐隐地疼，哦，那是喜悦和欢欣交织的疼，轻轻地打开，数着你的字，像是抚摸文物一样地珍贵。

但不要重复那些一遍遍同时发给好多人的信，虽然朗朗上口，可那只是客套的问候，只要手轻轻一按，便可以发向每个城市的每个角落，每一个人。我不要，我只要你给我一个人的信，哪怕只是一个简单的“想你”。

请给我一个永不厌倦的话题，只有爱你的人才可以读懂的内容，让我在白发缺齿时还可以读懂的信。

而如果，如果，我不得不离开你了，那么至少还有你的信，你只给我的信，刻着你也曾眷恋的真实，说着我的痛，还有那年月色正浓时我们正相爱着。。。。。

请给我一封信，你给我一个人的信！

Last Day of ICCC !!!

Today is the last day of ICCC.. I am now at home. Waiting for the next appointment at 8pm. Not sure whether is he going to turn up?! The path of being an insurance agent is really very tough. People keep on cheatting on you which telling you that they're interested in your plan but indeed not. People keep on delaying the appointment. People keep on avoiding you without answering your calls. Actually we (INSURANCE AGENT) aren't so scary ..ok?? We are very steady. We will still treat you as a friend .. Still treat you as good as previous. BUT why so many people still keep on criticizing on us and avoiding us? Our job is just to analyse those risks that you might facing at the moment to you and giving you the solutions to overcome the risks.. Is it so SCARY ??

I felt that these few days really are annoying days for me! Keep on arguing this and that with hubby. At first he requested to break then finally ok already. Yesterday was my turn to request to break but refused by him. So our relationship is currently still keep on going but really don't know when is the STOP point while those issues still havent settled yet!! Slept at around 4am after having quarrel. That's why exhausted today!!!

If there is a FRIEND to hold my hand.. If there is a FRIEND to accompany me.. If there is a FRIEND to assist me.. If there is a FRIEND who can let me rely.... IF.... IF... just IF.... If YOU are here for me.. That will be GREAT !!!... But ......

with love,
Ling Ling

Learn to Cherish !!!

To everyone especially the one--??? ,

Sometimes we might just left something carelessly or even cautiously BUT we've never ever went back to those day which we had it again! Agree??

Is it a human weakness? I don't know. BUT I'm sure you'll be anxious for it immediately when it lost or maybe someday when you realise that you NEED it again!

But what to do? You'll never ever found it back! Even if the thing looks exactly the same but it doesn't bring the same feeling to you like what you had it last time! No longer meaningful to you. It's useless!!

Everything is the same.. Goods,Reputation,Relationship.... Once you lost it, you'll never found it back!! So PLEASE cherish those goods that you have it now, cherish your family members, cherish your friends, cherish your lover... CHERISH EVERYTHING EVEN THOUGH YOU GOT NOTHING !!!

with love,
ling ling

p/s: sis played this song in the evening. Found it meaningful so just paste it here. Sorry I Love You-- Fish Leong (对不起我爱你--梁静茹)

没别的 只想说对不起对不起 我真的爱你不管你会怎么想 你怎么说也不会改变我的决定你知道 有时候感情事很难说很难说 爱人或朋友从前到现在我真的感觉要一想你 我的心就发烧想给你听我的心跳想你知道我睡的不好喝水想着你搭车想着你合眼闭眼间出现的全是你我猜不到你的表情我等不到你的回应不想难为你又不想放弃你决定告诉你对不起 对不起 我爱你

Damn busy today !!

I have been "disappeared" for a month.. I mean in my blog .. In fact, I am pretty busy since I came back from the Fly Cruise Trip ( Taiwan and Japan) .. THEY ( pl mummy, chong leng mummy, yue yi, bee im, hai san etc..) put me under a lot of stress.. Keep on asking me to fight for the foreign trip which is going to PERTH.. But did you know that I have to hit another 50k within this two months then only I entitle for this trip to PERTH ?

Gosh.. Can't get good sleep almost every night.. The sales of 50k keep on figuring in my mind.. HOW to hit?? WHO are the prospects? WHERE to find those prospects? hmmm.. TIRED..!!! But thinking of the moment being with THEM were so GREAT then I have to enforce myself to HIT the 50k in time so that I can gain the GREAT feeling AGAIN !!!!

Today I closed 2 cases - FYP RM9400 . So the percentage of STRESS decresed by 18.8% . Yeah !!! But while i was filling the proposal form in the office, Lean Heoh came to me and said seriously : " if you want to SIAO with them then you better faster complete your 90k !! "
Opps.. She reminded me not to be proud first but continue to work harder !!

I WILL TRY MY BEST TO GET THE OPPORTUNITY TO PERTH !!! jia you jia you !!

With love,
Ling Ling

Going for "Fly-Cruise" Trip tomorrow..

3-4pm in the office
hmmm.. alone in the office again. Boss has gone out for lunch till now still hasn't come back yet.
I think I won't be able to sleep tonight since I haven't pack my stuff into luggage yet.. I have to meet my bf's sister straight away after I finish work because she is going to bring business for me.. There might be 3 PA cases for me.. Although it's just PA but I am satisfied enough.. hehe..
Some more I have to go to Queensbay Mall to purchase make-up remover because the present one (Loreal) doesn't fulfill my "high demand" so I plan to buy a new one which is easier to clean up without any scrape on my face.

8.30pm-10.30pm at Queensbay Mall
We went to Winter Time to purchase sweater. But in the end I walked away with scarf and trench coat beside the sweater. Hmmm..Spent 500 bucks again.. My goodness...
After that we dined at Manathan Fish Market. The set for two was extremely large.. Even my ravenous hubby also couldn't finish it. haha..

11pm
Went to auntie's house to borrow luggage from her. I mean a huge luggage because all of mine are just very tiny. Taught me how to use those locks in the luggage.

11.30pm-3.56am
I had a shower before packing. After that I tested those shirts which I am going to bring to this trip. Busy packing..

4am
Go to the bed now. Ok la.. Good Night to all of you. I might not update my blog these few days till I come back from trip. Take Care !!

Ling

18.10.08 On Duty For RENAULT F1

I was going for duty in Queensbay Mall today. Represent ING to do survey in this RENAULT F1 road show (17th-19th). Our job was to get the particulars and asked some questions from those who've interest to play some games or join the contest of Remote Car Racing!!

I was looking for prospects while doing survey. I think I might go for a visit to one or two of them. It's a very good opportunity for us to run this road show. A chance for us to look out more prospects.

My duty was at 2-4pm. Although quite tired it wasn't boring at all. You could see how excited was the kid while playing those games as well as the parents. A WARM and LOVING scene has been created successfully!!

After 4pm I rushed to seek for a Fortune Teller with Gee Nee. This Fortune Teller (Mr.Lee) is very famous at that area-- Sungai Dua. Chong Leng has already booked two places for us before we go. According to Chong Leng, you have to make appointment 2 or 3 weeks in advance before you go.

Mr.Lee could tell my fortune by looking at the date of my birth. He told me that I have a very good fortune. I will stay in bungalow and drive a limousine in my thirties. Is it real??!! Anyway, I do hope what he said will really come true one day !!

Love,
Ling Ling

really TOUCHED for what you've done for me!

Pretty busy these few days to run my things... You'll never know how crazy was I because of wanted to hit my personal sales target of 20K.. Got a new idea on Sunday while I fell into trance at home. The idea was to design a simple flyer then distribute to letter box of some flats. Although I knew that it's a STUPID and RIDICULOUS way BUT what I could do was to try out as many way as possible to hit my sales. I WON'T GIVE UP EASILY before end of OCT !!

I had done my degisn on Sunday night then only photocopied on the next day. I also tried my best to cut cost. Luckily I didn't need to pay a single cent for this because my hubby gave me 500 pieces of A4 paper to photocopy at his sister's office. GREAT..

After that I used 2-3 nights to distribute. Yesterday was the last night when both of them(CY and MC) were helping me to distribute. I met CY first then only followed MC to go back to his area to distribute. Both of us were riding while MC was driving. Finally we reached his house so we started our JOB immediately. After distributed to some of the flats then we just simply had our dinner at mamak stall. Continued our distribution after dinner. Raining suddenly. 3 of us ran back into MC's car as soon as possible.. haha..

After a while the rain has stopped. CY and I were riding back to our own home. Torrential rain fell suddenly while on the way back. I was soaking wet !! Some more there was a couple of Malay kept on laughing at me in their car. I didn't know what exactly they were laughing of ?.. because of my shirt was wet through? because of I was riding while they were drivingr? I DON'T KNOW but I got really hard feeling on it !!

After I reached home then received CY's call. She informed that her area caused flood because of heavy rain so she got to wait at the nearby Police Station then only could ride back..I waited for her till 1am. She has been waiting there for AN hour.. I felt very SORRY to her. It's because of ME then only will caused her to go back home late..!!

SORRY for giving YOU all problems... THANK YOU for supporting me all the times regardless any decision I had made. THANKS for coming into my LIFE..

With love,
Ling

Met Paul ------- Dad got DRUNK !!!

Met Paul today. Talked lot of things. Past, Present, Future.. Both of us just have the common point of views on most of the issues.. We are 20 years old, single but not available, having the same qualification (SPM), started the path of career since the day we left school, hoping to earn much so work harder and harder, hoping to achieve our goal in these 3-4 years that's why suffer a lot (sometime)...INDEED,WE ARE ALONE ALONG THE PATH OF SUCESS..

Not much people will literally understand us BUT we did understand each other. What a GREAT consolation !! I did mention the income plan to him (what exactly my purpose of the night), he seems to be very interested in this plan. Asked me for a few days for consideration. Will meet him again when I come back from the trip ( Fly-Cruise Trip).

Called dad when I was on my way back after the meeting with Paul. He asked me to meet him at the place where he goes usually. The purpose was to introduce ME- his daughter to his fellows to let them aware of I am an insurance agent. I knew that dad was already DRUNK at that time that's why I stayed and waiting to send him back later since he was damn DRUNK !!

Finally he decided to go back BUT with his MOTOR. He insisted to ride although he STAGGERED ! What I could do was just followed him at the back. I was praying in my heart for dad to hope that there won't be any accident happened to him. Unfortunately, he was knocked down by himself while he was turning right into our house. I stopped my car immediately and supported him. Oh, fuck! AGAIN he insisted to continue to ride till home!

He keep on saying nonsense along the way to home. I straight away put him to the bed when we reached home. He could just sleep soundly. My goodness.. It's really a NIGHTMARE!! Now I realised WHY my hubby don't encourage me to drink so often !!
You will let yourselves fall into EMBARRASSMENT when YOU get DRUNK !!